Cognitive Hypnotherapy for Relationship Issues | Online UK & West London
Having loving connections is one of the most important things for all of us. Yet if we didn't experience close and nurturing relationships in early life, it can create patterns that subconsciously damage our ability to have healthy relationships when we are older.
Co-dependency, people pleasing, attracting toxic people, fear of attachment, self-sabotage- there are many ways our relationships can suffer when we don't have a healthy way of relating. But the good news is, this can be changed.
Where relationship patterns come from
Our earliest relationships become the template through which we understand connection, safety, and love. If those early experiences were inconsistent, critical, neglectful, or frightening, the subconscious mind draws conclusions about what relationships are, and what we deserve from them.
These conclusions become attachment patterns- automatic ways of relating that follow us into adult friendships, romantic partnerships, and working relationships. We may find ourselves repeatedly drawn to people who confirm what we already believe about ourselves, or sabotaging connections that feel safe precisely because safety feels unfamiliar.
This is not a character flaw. It is the subconscious mind doing exactly what it was designed to do- keeping us in familiar territory, even when that territory is painful. Understanding where these patterns come from is the first step toward changing them.
“I came to Ella after trying various therapies such as CBT. I was petrified of the future.
When I meet Ella, I felt she really understood my struggles and felt I was heard. This is something I have never felt with anyone I have spoken to before.
Thank you Ella, you are truly amazing. The compassion, kindness and understanding you have is something that is so rare to find.”
How Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help with relationship issues
Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help you create a secure sense of self, develop appropriate boundaries, and reparent yourself so that you feel happy in your own company. It assists you to stop repeating unconscious unhealthy patterns, learn new and improved ways of relating, and therefore attract healthy and loving people into your life.
This work often involves parts work- addressing the younger parts of you that formed beliefs about love, safety, and connection, and helping them update. Many clients find this the most profound element of the work, as it creates a genuinely different felt sense of self in relationship rather than simply new intellectual understanding.
Somatic awareness is woven throughout- helping you notice how relational patterns show up in the body, and building a more grounded, regulated nervous system from which healthier connection becomes possible.
This work forms part of the wider Breath Body Mind Method.
Relationship difficulties are often closely connected to trauma, low self esteem and lack of confidence- and addressing the underlying patterns often has a positive ripple effect across all of these areas.
If you would like structured 1:1 support, you can explore that here.
If you're looking for ongoing weekly nervous system support, you can find out more about the Membership here.